Last Updated on March 22, 2024 by Britt Olizarowicz
I’ve been playing golf since I was 7 and have heard my fare share of golf puns through the years. I’ll be honest, some of these are much funnier than others. I’m not a huge fan of the overused puns although I’ll admit I have a few on my list. If you want to give your foursome a good laugh this weekend here are 11 funny golf puns you can use this weekend. I tried to pick the ones that make you think more than roll your eyes!
“The problem with my golf game is that I stand too close to the ball… after I hit it.”
This could be one of the greatest golf puns of all time. Golfers are always talking about the issues with their game. Isn’t this one that we all have? The worst time to be standing close to the ball is right after you make contact!
“My golf score seems to improve considerably when I have the scorecard.”
We’ve all played with this golfer. They shoot 105 every Saturday morning until they decide to handle the scorecard for the week. They miraculously shoot a 97 this day and at a quick glance you notice the 9 they made looks an awful lot like a 6 on the scorecard. If you are this golfer, this your warning that we are on to you!
“Golf is the only sport where you can be above par and still need improvement.”
Sub par rounds are the goal in golf. Sub par performance in any sport will leave you sitting on the bench. It’s really a backward game, but that could be what we all love about it.
“To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.”
This is another funny golf pun about scoring. It’s a big deal in golf. Some players are more capable of it than others, but keeping the score correctly seems to be a real problem for some. Try to be as honest as you can; it makes the game more fun.
“Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly, but the golfer always lies well.”
If you talk to many experienced golfers, myself included, we will tell you that the “play it as it lies” rule is one of the most frustrating in the game. If your ball lies poorly in a divot in the fairway, shouldn’t you be able to move it? That’s a story for another day, but this pun is a good one.
“Golf is a game played on the five-inch course between your ears.”
The better you get at golf, the more you realize the entire game is played in your head. You’ll play well if you can get your brain on the right track and stay positive and focused. Now, if you crack the code on how to do that, let us know.
“Golfers don’t age; they just lose their drive.”
Take this one how you want it. However, I’ve seen and taught plenty of senior golfers who have struggled to get the same distances they did in their youth. It’s a tough reality, but luckily, there are plenty of tee boxes on the course to choose from.
“The secret to good golf is to hit the ball hard, straight, and not too often.”
This golf pun sums up the entire game in one sentence. Hit it hard; keep it in the middle, but don’t do it all that often. Again, easier said than done.
“A $600 driver, with all its tech, still pays homage to the classic golf tradition of the slice.”
I had to edit this one a little because, at one point, an expensive driver was $250. Those days have come and gone. Today you are looking at spending more than $600 for a new one. The good news is, you can still slice it! In fact, you’ll be more than likely to slice it when you are on the first tee or have a really good chance to shoot your best round. It always works out like that.
“Male golfers rely on muscle; female golfers on finesse. Both end up in the same bunker, though.”
There is lots of talk about which gender plays better golf. I’ll be honest: I think women have better tempo and timing, but they often struggle with power and aggressiveness. Sometimes, you have to go for it to hit it close to the hole. Male golfers do a better job of this than most women golfers.
“A golf lesson often ends with the realization that the only thing consistent about your game is its inconsistency.”
I love this one. As a former golf teaching professional, I always try to give every player a positive word of encouragement when they finish a golf lesson. If only this had been considered a word of encouragement, I could have used it!
